Travel Diaries: The Worst Parts of Being on an Airplane

Hey fwendz! Sorry I’ve been MIA — been SO busy and traveling a ton, but I’m baackkkk and have a bunch of fun posts coming soon. Speaking of traveling I’ve been experiencing a lot of the same shit over and over so wanted to share some realness about being on an airplane.

SO, we all know traveling is a bitch. The whole process: packing, ubering to the airport, going through security, spending $75 on a glass of wine at the airport…but today I’m going to focus on the actual act of flying and discussing the shit — the very annoying, uncomfortable and WTF shit — that actually happens on an airplane.

I’ve experienced literally everything on this list, but please share any other ridiculousness in the  comments that you’ve dealt with while on a plane!

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  1. Finding out your seat buddies are a smelly old man and a crying baby. NOoooOOoo
  2. When you have to get up to go to the bathroom and have to pass people in the aisle and rub butts. Like, is this considered our first date? Do you want my phone number?
  3. Your seat doesn’t recline and you’re on a 6 hour flight.
  4. You sit next to the airplane police and tells you you shouldn’t put your jacket in the overhead. (This JUST happened to me last week. MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS and LET ME LIVE)
  5. Your seat mate keeps hogging the armrest and you start playing a bitchy game of MOVE YOUR ELBLOW.
  6. You have an ideal row 4 window seat and a family of 18 asks you to switch with them so they can “all be together”. NOPE. I DON’T CARE. I GLADLY ACCEPT TITLE OF BIGGEST BITCH ON THE PLANE.
  7. You sit in the vicinity of a farter. RIP
  8. You’re on a business trip and have to work on the plane but there is not enough space on your tray to fit your computer so you are working hunched in a little ball.
  9. The person diagonal from you won’t shut their window and it is GLARING into your eyeballs.
  10. Someone pukes and the whole plane smells making you want to puke.
  11. When they bake fresh cookies for first class…and you’re definitely not in first class. RUDE
  12. The food. Nuff said. (although I do have to say Virgin’s cheese plate is aiite)
  13. You haven’t showered in two days and you sit next to a cute guy. That would happen to me.
  14. You’re watching a movie and a sex scene comes on and you feel like everyone is judging you. AGAIN, LET ME LIVE
  15. When you land, and are trying to get off the plane someone behind you doesn’t let you go first. ISN’T IT COMMON KNOWLEDGE YOU DEPLANE IN ORDER. STEP BACK BRO

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Happy flying! 😂

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Why Being Sick as an Adult Sucks

Remember when you were little and got sick? You would practically ring a little bell and your mom would show up within five minutes with medicine, juice, tissues, cough drops….a fucking magical rainbow unicorn…you get my point.

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But as you grow up and move out on your own you have to fend for yourself. AKA ADULTING. Being sick as an adult sucks because if you run out of tissues or medicine you actually have to go out on your own to get what you need. Or call Postmates and spend $79 on soup, DayQuill and crackers. It’s your choice. This also is for most of the females because don’t even get me started on when men get sick, they pretty much revert back to being 6 year olds but 10 times more needy — maybe we’ll save that for another post HA!

A few more reasons why being sick as an adult is the worst:

  • You still have to work. Even though I am home with a 100 degree fever covered in a mountain of tissues, I have a job to do and even if I do take the day actually off I have like 8 million meetings to reschedule and will open my inbox to 300 new messages, a don’t even get me started on the anxiety that Slack notifications bring me.
  • Being…well, single. I have to do all my normal adulting things like walking the dog, grocery shopping, getting the mail…which brings me to the next point
  • You are bound to run into your hot neighbor looking your all time ugliest with a soup stain on your sweatshirt — no joke this just happened to me. #wantmynumber
  • You’re sweating hot. No, you’re freezing cold with shivers. Come on, body – can you make up your mind please?
  • No matter how many times you blow your nose it will still be clogged.
  • Due to the hundreds of times you blew your nose, your nose is now raw, red and peeling – super cute. No, aloe tissues do not solve this.
  • ::Makes tea that is too hot to drink:: ::Forgets about tea until it is ice cold::
  • I feel like I have so many more important things to be doing than sitting in bed being bored. Like I could be crossing things off my to do list here, people.

Overall, it’s a reminder that you have to take care of yourself . I have such a hard time slowing down and it’s seriously ok to put yourself first once in awhile to avoid all the above shit. Ok, time to call Postmates….