The Real Deal About Being a Bridesmaid

Here comes the wine bride…here comes the wine bride….

Ahh, the time when one of your BFFs is in love, getting married and asks YOU to stand up by her side on the biggest day of her life. So sweet, right?! Well, YES…and don’t get me wrong I am honored but let’s be real, it’s not just standing up next to them but soo much more and we all know this. To anyone who has been a bridesmaid or — even better — a maid of honor — knows that while it’s an exciting time, it is also a stressful, money sucking, drama filled time for the lucky group of ladies. FUNNNNNN

No matter what though, there are things that arise when you are prepping for one of your closest friends or family members big day and not all of them make you cry tears of joy, but tears of stress (is that a thing?). Not having your dress fit? AWESOME. Spending a month’s worth of rent money on new clothes, hotel stays and gifts? SUPER GREAT. Getting bitched at because you recommended something to the head bitch in charge Maid of Honor. THE BEST. 

Here are other things I’ve personally experienced or heard about directly from friends who have been a bridesmaid. If you have any other ridiculous stories PLEASE share in the comments. I’d love to hear! 

  1. Not all bridemaids are created equal, like you’re totally her best friend but she haddddd to make Sally the maid of honor because she was Sallys. #uhhuh
  2. Your bride has turned into a bonafide bridezilla…and wants to go on a week long cruise for her bachelorette party. It’s only $1500, bargain right?! #hellno
  3. Bridesmaid dresses are never really that cute…and will never fit perfectly or be completely your style.
  4. You will have to spend more money than you want…read on.
  5. You will need a spray tan. $
  6. You will need a mani pedi $$
  7. You will need a dress $$$$…and have it altered $$$$
  8. You will need to attend or even better yet plan a bachelorette party $$$$$
  9. You will need a wedding gift $$$$$$
  10. You will have to deal with a lot of emotions- tears, yelling, laughter…it comes with the territory
  11. You get thrown into being into a ‘bride tribe’ of ladies who you probably aren’t already that close with or don’t even know at all…you can imagine the gossip and drama that arises.
  12. No matter what, the bride will be emotional. Get your shoulder ready to cry on and all the tissues
  13. While things may be going to SHIT in your own life, that doesn’t matter. The wedding is the most important thing ever and you need to suck it up.
  14. Group chat messages will not stop until wedding day. I hope you have unlimited texts.
  15. If you’re single, going wedding dress shopping gives you hives. ::chugs champagne::

Really though, it’s always a crazy but fun experience. I can’t wait for my besties big day this weekend. Follow my insta story or Snapchat for all my real talk behind the scenes!

Why Being Sick as an Adult Sucks

Remember when you were little and got sick? You would practically ring a little bell and your mom would show up within five minutes with medicine, juice, tissues, cough drops….a fucking magical rainbow unicorn…you get my point.

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But as you grow up and move out on your own you have to fend for yourself. AKA ADULTING. Being sick as an adult sucks because if you run out of tissues or medicine you actually have to go out on your own to get what you need. Or call Postmates and spend $79 on soup, DayQuill and crackers. It’s your choice. This also is for most of the females because don’t even get me started on when men get sick, they pretty much revert back to being 6 year olds but 10 times more needy — maybe we’ll save that for another post HA!

A few more reasons why being sick as an adult is the worst:

  • You still have to work. Even though I am home with a 100 degree fever covered in a mountain of tissues, I have a job to do and even if I do take the day actually off I have like 8 million meetings to reschedule and will open my inbox to 300 new messages, a don’t even get me started on the anxiety that Slack notifications bring me.
  • Being…well, single. I have to do all my normal adulting things like walking the dog, grocery shopping, getting the mail…which brings me to the next point
  • You are bound to run into your hot neighbor looking your all time ugliest with a soup stain on your sweatshirt — no joke this just happened to me. #wantmynumber
  • You’re sweating hot. No, you’re freezing cold with shivers. Come on, body – can you make up your mind please?
  • No matter how many times you blow your nose it will still be clogged.
  • Due to the hundreds of times you blew your nose, your nose is now raw, red and peeling – super cute. No, aloe tissues do not solve this.
  • ::Makes tea that is too hot to drink:: ::Forgets about tea until it is ice cold::
  • I feel like I have so many more important things to be doing than sitting in bed being bored. Like I could be crossing things off my to do list here, people.

Overall, it’s a reminder that you have to take care of yourself . I have such a hard time slowing down and it’s seriously ok to put yourself first once in awhile to avoid all the above shit. Ok, time to call Postmates….