The Most Horrible Photos Men Use for Their Online Dating Profiles

When it comes to online dating, a photo speaks volumes and is honestly how most people make up their mind if they even want to spend time reading through the rest of your profile. Over the -ahem- years I’ve been on and off dating sites, I continue to see the same horrible photos that men use for their profiles. Don’t get me wrong, women are not perfect (hello, mirror selfies, #guilty!) but men, you really need to step it up. It’s called a smartphone, we all have them and it’s really not that hard.

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Here are the top offenders that drive me INSANE.

  1. Shirtless, yes that’s number one.
  2. Shirtless at the gym….I mean….
  3. Group photos- How the hell are we supposed to know WHO YOU ARE? 
  4. Baby photos – No baby, no baby photos. 
  5. Surrounded by girls. Nothing says “date me” like showing what a douchebag wannabe player you probably aren’t. It’s not cool. 
  6. Posing with a tiger in Thailand. Yes, I have this photo too, but it’s not on my dating profile. AKA YOU BASIC BROOOOOOOOO 
  7. A photo so close up it shows your pores
  8. Modeling or any headshots — like let’s not be so formal, aye? Save it for LinkedIn
  9. Filtered on filtered. Where did your face go? 
  10. A photo from 10 years ago….and no – you don’t still look like that. 
  11. One photo only…like WHAT THE FUCK there has to be something wrong with this person. It’s called a cell phone, you know those things you can take a billion photos on? Run. This person is hiding something.
  12. Lastly, some guys don’t put a photo. AT ALL. You are not that special or that cool. If you are you should only be using Raya or The League or something else elitist to protect your top secret identity.

Why Being Sick as an Adult Sucks

Remember when you were little and got sick? You would practically ring a little bell and your mom would show up within five minutes with medicine, juice, tissues, cough drops….a fucking magical rainbow unicorn…you get my point.

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But as you grow up and move out on your own you have to fend for yourself. AKA ADULTING. Being sick as an adult sucks because if you run out of tissues or medicine you actually have to go out on your own to get what you need. Or call Postmates and spend $79 on soup, DayQuill and crackers. It’s your choice. This also is for most of the females because don’t even get me started on when men get sick, they pretty much revert back to being 6 year olds but 10 times more needy — maybe we’ll save that for another post HA!

A few more reasons why being sick as an adult is the worst:

  • You still have to work. Even though I am home with a 100 degree fever covered in a mountain of tissues, I have a job to do and even if I do take the day actually off I have like 8 million meetings to reschedule and will open my inbox to 300 new messages, a don’t even get me started on the anxiety that Slack notifications bring me.
  • Being…well, single. I have to do all my normal adulting things like walking the dog, grocery shopping, getting the mail…which brings me to the next point
  • You are bound to run into your hot neighbor looking your all time ugliest with a soup stain on your sweatshirt — no joke this just happened to me. #wantmynumber
  • You’re sweating hot. No, you’re freezing cold with shivers. Come on, body – can you make up your mind please?
  • No matter how many times you blow your nose it will still be clogged.
  • Due to the hundreds of times you blew your nose, your nose is now raw, red and peeling – super cute. No, aloe tissues do not solve this.
  • ::Makes tea that is too hot to drink:: ::Forgets about tea until it is ice cold::
  • I feel like I have so many more important things to be doing than sitting in bed being bored. Like I could be crossing things off my to do list here, people.

Overall, it’s a reminder that you have to take care of yourself . I have such a hard time slowing down and it’s seriously ok to put yourself first once in awhile to avoid all the above shit. Ok, time to call Postmates….

What a California Girl Learned in a Blizzard

I’m baaaack! Did ya miss me? #missedyoutoo SO! Where the heck have I been?

Well, I spent the last week in New York and Boston for our latest #PoshNation events and quickly learned we were heading to a blizzard…which, for a California gal is not ideal. To be honest, I never even owned and coat (like a real COAT) until I started traveling for work 4 years ago. Any other time I went to the snow I would borrow a friends or family members winter appropriate pieces.

During this most recent trip to NY, I came to a lot of realizations about how utterly unprepared I was and how many things about the snow you don’t ever realize unless you have to experience it. So yes, some of these things may seem RIDICULOUS but hey — I live in a state where the weather is 70 degrees 10 months out of the year…so give your warm blooded girl a break.

Without further adieu….my list of shit I learned as a Cali girl in a blizzard.

  • There is no way in hell you are going to find a coat or snow boots to purchase at any store in California in March…I tried.
  • 20 degrees feels like needles rushing through your body and a snowman blowing icicles kisses on your face.
  • You really need snow boots. Not ankle boots. Not suede boots. Not Nike sneakers (which is all of what I brought). Waterproof boots with thick socks and treading is the top choice — I was slipping and tripping and sliding…not fun.
  • Layering is key — And not just layering a coat over a t-shirt…also something I am guilty of doing.
  • Literally nothing is open and you should stock up on things you need. LIKE WINE OR WATER OR FOOD. Thank goodness our hotel restaurant was open!
  • Booze. It’s obviously a life essential in a crisis such as a blizzard. #enoughsaid
  • Fingerless gloves are useless. Just no.
  • Your phone WILL go into arctic shock and not function. It literally shut off. Like “Bitch I’m too cold to work” and my fingers were too cold to detect any touch screen functions…so there was that.
  • Makeup is completely unnecessary. I attempted once during the day and I ended up getting it all over a scarf and because it was so cold my eyes watered…I looked way cute.
  • Accessories are pretty much key. Beanies, gloves, scarves…you need them all.
  • Uber drivers expect you to climb over a wall of snow to get in the car. If I can’t even WALK properly in the snow how do you expect me to climb through an icy hill to get in?
  • I couldn’t tell if my feet were wet or cold. They were both.
  • You go from freezing cold outside, to sweating hot inside – there is no balance.
  • Peeling off layers and putting them back on is a fucking PROCESS and takes legit 5 minutes.

Pretty much, the snow is no joke BUT I do have to say it’s absolutely beautiful and I had a grand ole time experiencing it on this trip. Is it summer yet? ☀️

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Why Women are Magical Creatures

Happy International Women’s Day! I had a different post ready to go for today, but have been feeling so inspired about celebrating all the amazing women in the world so wanted to shine light on why being a woman FUCKING ROCKS and why we seriously are the most complex, fabulous beings on earth.

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This list could obviously go on and on, but I had to narrow it down.

  1. We are STRONG. Stronger than we know, just when you think you can’t possibly accomplish or do anything more, YOU DO.
  2. We overcome. Sadness, heartbreak, career growth, loneliness, depression, anxiety, financial struggles, motherhood…any and all life’s challenges – WE GOT THIS.
  3. We are in touch with our feelings and not afraid to show it. Cry, laugh, yell. It’s healthy and letting emotions out is something you should pride yourself on.
  4. Our bodies are BEAUTIFUL. Any size, any shape, any color. ROCK IT
  5. We are mothers, sisters, friends, bosses, daughters and make it look fucking easy…even when it’s not
  6. We empower, inspire, motivate, love, nurture, fight, and support one another
  7. We can communicate verbally  like no one’s business, but even more amazing, with no words at all. Work that body language.
  8. Multitasking comes easy to us, gym, work, kids, friends, cleaning, reading, paying bills…all at the same damn time and looking fucking good doing it…ok, maybe not at the same time but you know what I mean…. AKA we are superheroes.
  9. We take no bullshit and have no boundaries
  10. Lastly, we can contour and draw on our eyebrows like no one’s business.

Screen Shot 2017-03-08 at 8.43.00 AMLike I said this list could go on forever but I am SO in love with being a woman and being surrounded by so many women who pick me up, support me, love me and inspire me it is truly amazing.

GIRL FUCKING POWER!

Health & Fitness Hacks I Live By

Working out, eating healthy, working, having a social life, trying to date….who has time for it all?! I barely do and burn out often, so when it comes to staying healthy and not gaining 5 million pounds when I’m stress eating Chipotle and Ben & Jerry’s (come on, we all do it) I have to make a very conscious effort to stay on track. 

Over the years I’ve found a few key things that may seem ridiculous but truly help me with my fitness and health routine. I’m no expert, but eat these hacks up like an order of animal fries.

  • Sleep in your workout clothes — if you are a morning workoutter like me, this is KEY and takes the fumbling around looking for clothes out of the picture. 
  • Make your food taste like it’s bad for you — cauliflower crust pizza, zucchini noodles, baked chicken tenders, it may seem bad but it isn’t! Recipes coming SOON! 
  • Drink hella water when you’re hungry — this sounds silly but it does help…and you stay hydrated so that’s a double whammy 
  • Be single — it really helps with the waistline, lol but really, you don’t have someone to go out to eat with constantly. HA
  • Workout in the morning so you know it is done with (hence the first line item) 
  • If you want something bad, eat it – there is no reason to deprive yourself because you’ll just binge later
  • Stock up on cute fitness gear — if you love your workout clothes it will make you love working out just a little bit more
  • Go on a hike before brunch…because BALANCE
  • Dry shampoo. Enough said
  • Leave everything you need out on your counter the night before — I always leave out my Magic Bullet, Pre-Workout, and Protein Powder because it reminds me about them and makes using them that much easier
  • Take time on Sunday to look at your calendar and plan your meals…or at least a few of them! I typically plan 2 meals a week which allows me wiggle room to go out and have leftovers and ultimately not waste!
  • Only drink alcohol that is clear — vodka, white wine or tequila…because you better believe I’m not NOT drinking.

Cheers to that…with my favorite healthy meal, a dirty martini!
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Travel Diaries: Miami

WASSUP BEACHESSS!!

For those of you who follow my craziness on social media, you probably saw I was in Miami week…and lucky for me it was a work trip that turned into a play trip. I mean, I’m to the point in my life that if I’m traveling for work, you bettah believe I’m staying an extra day to enjoy. No kids, no man, no problem! Also, it was 85 degrees in Miami sooooo how could I not have stayed?! The pool was just calling my whiter-than-white legs to be there.

OOTD DEETS
Skirt: Scored from Adiel’s Boutique on  Poshmark // TopShoes & Earrings: Asos // Lipstick: NYX Cosmetics – Pink Lust

Let’s start with the #WERK, though: If you have been a follower of mine from the Poshmark early days (if you didn’t know, I have been working at Poshmark for FIVE years!), you know I used to plan live events across the country that we traveled to to meet and connect with our community members and while we took a little break, we are BACK on the #PoshNation tour again. I mean, we have some seriously inspiring Seller Stylists in our community building empires, creating brands, and just overall using the app in ways we always dreamed about. So when we get to meet face to face and hear their stories first hand — ISSS A DREAAM. I usually want to cry because I’m so verklempt (this is the yiddish word for overwhelmed with emotion) with these women (and men!).

So we kicked off the trip getting ready for Poshmark’s #PoshNation Miami event on Thursday night and it was SO AMAZING to meet all the local Miami Seller Stylists. I rocked a very Miami outfit – white, neons, and tassels. We had drankkss, hit up the Photo Booth, took SO many selfies and had an unforgettable evening. I hope if I come to your city you come out to meet us!

On to the PLAY portion of the trip: For work we stayed at The Surfcomber which was sold out (it was boat week so finding a room was challenging even for one night) but my girl and I found The Nautilus hotel on Hotel Tonight. It was overpriced but super cute – exactly what you would picture for a South Beach hotel: palm trees inside, marble tables, tufted beds and a Alice in Wonderland style pool – so quirky, fun and chic!

After we checked in we napped, got ready and went to Mango’s — a SUPER touristy bar with impersonators, neon lights, chippendale style performers and overpriced drinks (are we sensing a theme in Miami, fuck it’s expensive!). Mango’s was a HUGE bar, they had different rooms with different style music, black lights, and since it’s a huge tourist spot, it gets crowded which was fun!

After Mangos? 3am pizza delivered to the hotel…DUH!

Our last day was spent by the pool, eating BLTs and drinking prosecco. We also found out our flight was delayed but gave not one fuck because that just meant more pool time for us. YOLO. Ok, I need to stop staying that. Really. Our last stop was oysters and peel-n-shrimp at the Ritz because, YOLO. DAMNIT.

Overall Miami, you really brought the heat and my whiteness is a little more glowing…but still white. Oh well. If you have any questions about what else I did or ate or wore, let me know!

XO, bitches…I mean, beaches. 😜

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Why Being Single on Valentine’s Day Rocks

Being single on Valentine’s Day is not a bad thing. I repeat this is NOT a bad thing. While everyone else is getting disappointed they didn’t get spoiled with chocolate or flowers, or their boyfriend forgot to make a reservation at an overpriced restaurant, or whatever crazy expectation wasn’t met, sometimes the grass is always greener and this is why being single can be fucking amazing on this overhyped holiday!

It’s actually a great time to show yourself the love you deserve and TREAT YO’SELF, amirite?! While everyone else is worried about their significant other and whether or not they will live up to the expectations of all that is Valentine’s Day, you can kick back, relax, open up some wine and order some Postmates – because you are single and can do whatever the hell you want!

Here are 10 things to do to show yourself some love today:

  1. Wake up, light some candles and stretch
  2. Listen to a girl power playlist
  3. Write a love note to yourself
  4. Take a bubble bath and do a face mask
  5. Leave work a little early
  6. Go on a walk without your phone
  7. Send yourself flowers — no one is judging!
  8. Have a glass of wine…or bottle
  9. Buy a box of chocolates and take a bite of each one
  10. Masturbate — I told you I’m keeping it real on this blog. So yes, enjoy.