Here comes the
wine bride…here comes the wine bride….
Ahh, the time when one of your BFFs is in love, getting married and asks YOU to stand up by her side on the biggest day of her life. So sweet, right?! Well, YES…and don’t get me wrong I am honored but let’s be real, it’s not just standing up next to them but soo much more and we all know this. To anyone who has been a bridesmaid or — even better — a maid of honor — knows that while it’s an exciting time, it is also a stressful, money sucking, drama filled time for the lucky group of ladies. FUNNNNNN
No matter what though, there are things that arise when you are prepping for one of your closest friends or family members big day and not all of them make you cry tears of joy, but tears of stress (is that a thing?). Not having your dress fit? AWESOME. Spending a month’s worth of rent money on new clothes, hotel stays and gifts? SUPER GREAT. Getting bitched at because you recommended something to the
head bitch in charge Maid of Honor. THE BEST.
Here are other things I’ve personally experienced or heard about directly from friends who have been a bridesmaid. If you have any other ridiculous stories PLEASE share in the comments. I’d love to hear!
- Not all bridemaids are created equal, like you’re totally her best friend but she haddddd to make Sally the maid of honor because she was Sallys. #uhhuh
- Your bride has turned into a bonafide bridezilla…and wants to go on a week long cruise for her bachelorette party. It’s only $1500, bargain right?! #hellno
- Bridesmaid dresses are never really that cute…and will never fit perfectly or be completely your style.
- You will have to spend more money than you want…read on.
- You will need a spray tan. $
- You will need a mani pedi $$
- You will need a dress $$$$…and have it altered $$$$
- You will need to attend or even better yet plan a bachelorette party $$$$$
- You will need a wedding gift $$$$$$
- You will have to deal with a lot of emotions- tears, yelling, laughter…it comes with the territory
- You get thrown into being into a ‘bride tribe’ of ladies who you probably aren’t already that close with or don’t even know at all…you can imagine the gossip and drama that arises.
- No matter what, the bride will be emotional. Get your shoulder ready to cry on and all the tissues
- While things may be going to SHIT in your own life, that doesn’t matter. The wedding is the most important thing ever and you need to suck it up.
- Group chat messages will not stop until wedding day. I hope you have unlimited texts.
- If you’re single, going wedding dress shopping gives you hives. ::chugs champagne::
Really though, it’s always a crazy but fun experience. I can’t wait for my besties big day this weekend. Follow my insta story or Snapchat for all my real talk behind the scenes!
Remember when you were little and got sick? You would practically ring a little bell and your mom would show up within five minutes with medicine, juice, tissues, cough drops….a fucking magical rainbow unicorn…you get my point.
But as you grow up and move out on your own you have to fend for yourself. AKA ADULTING. Being sick as an adult sucks because if you run out of tissues or medicine you actually have to go out on your own to get what you need. Or call Postmates and spend $79 on soup, DayQuill and crackers. It’s your choice. This also is for most of the females because don’t even get me started on when men get sick, they pretty much revert back to being 6 year olds but 10 times more needy — maybe we’ll save that for another post HA!
A few more reasons why being sick as an adult is the worst:
- You still have to work. Even though I am home with a 100 degree fever covered in a mountain of tissues, I have a job to do and even if I do take the day actually off I have like 8 million meetings to reschedule and will open my inbox to 300 new messages, a don’t even get me started on the anxiety that Slack notifications bring me.
- Being…well, single. I have to do all my normal adulting things like walking the dog, grocery shopping, getting the mail…which brings me to the next point
- You are bound to run into your hot neighbor looking your all time ugliest with a soup stain on your sweatshirt — no joke this just happened to me. #wantmynumber
- You’re sweating hot. No, you’re freezing cold with shivers. Come on, body – can you make up your mind please?
- No matter how many times you blow your nose it will still be clogged.
- Due to the hundreds of times you blew your nose, your nose is now raw, red and peeling – super cute. No, aloe tissues do not solve this.
- ::Makes tea that is too hot to drink:: ::Forgets about tea until it is ice cold::
- I feel like I have so many more important things to be doing than sitting in bed being bored. Like I could be crossing things off my to do list here, people.
Overall, it’s a reminder that you have to take care of yourself . I have such a hard time slowing down and it’s seriously ok to put yourself first once in awhile to avoid all the above shit. Ok, time to call Postmates….
I’m baaaack! Did ya miss me? #missedyoutoo SO! Where the heck have I been?
Well, I spent the last week in New York and Boston for our latest #PoshNation events and quickly learned we were heading to a blizzard…which, for a California gal is not ideal. To be honest, I never even owned and coat (like a real COAT) until I started traveling for work 4 years ago. Any other time I went to the snow I would borrow a friends or family members winter appropriate pieces.
During this most recent trip to NY, I came to a lot of realizations about how utterly unprepared I was and how many things about the snow you don’t ever realize unless you have to experience it. So yes, some of these things may seem RIDICULOUS but hey — I live in a state where the weather is 70 degrees 10 months out of the year…so give your warm blooded girl a break.
Without further adieu….my list of shit I learned as a Cali girl in a blizzard.
- There is no way in hell you are going to find a coat or snow boots to purchase at any store in California in March…I tried.
- 20 degrees feels like needles rushing through your body and a snowman blowing icicles kisses on your face.
- You really need snow boots. Not ankle boots. Not suede boots. Not Nike sneakers (which is all of what I brought). Waterproof boots with thick socks and treading is the top choice — I was slipping and tripping and sliding…not fun.
- Layering is key — And not just layering a coat over a t-shirt…also something I am guilty of doing.
- Literally nothing is open and you should stock up on things you need. LIKE WINE OR WATER OR FOOD. Thank goodness our hotel restaurant was open!
- Booze. It’s obviously a life essential in a crisis such as a blizzard. #enoughsaid
- Fingerless gloves are useless. Just no.
- Your phone WILL go into arctic shock and not function. It literally shut off. Like “Bitch I’m too cold to work” and my fingers were too cold to detect any touch screen functions…so there was that.
- Makeup is completely unnecessary. I attempted once during the day and I ended up getting it all over a scarf and because it was so cold my eyes watered…I looked way cute.
- Accessories are pretty much key. Beanies, gloves, scarves…you need them all.
- Uber drivers expect you to climb over a wall of snow to get in the car. If I can’t even WALK properly in the snow how do you expect me to climb through an icy hill to get in?
- I couldn’t tell if my feet were wet or cold. They were both.
- You go from freezing cold outside, to sweating hot inside – there is no balance.
- Peeling off layers and putting them back on is a fucking PROCESS and takes legit 5 minutes.
Pretty much, the snow is no joke BUT I do have to say it’s absolutely beautiful and I had a grand ole time experiencing it on this trip. Is it summer yet? ☀️
Ahhh, adult life. For some it never begins (lucky sons of bitches) but for the rest of us out there that aren’t still supported by our families, got lucky and landed a reality tv show and is now selling fit tea on Instagram, or founded an app and sold it for 5324 katrillion dollars…WE HAVE TO ACTUALLY TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES. UGH
Throughout my ’20s I learned how to support myself, be independent, and quite frankly #getshitdone, however there are always all the adulting things you HAVE to, things you probably shouldn’t do, and then the things you never do. I wanted to share my list with you all.
Let me know if you have any others to add to the list, I want to know what your #adulting struggles are!
Things You Have To Do
Make enough money to pay that rent
Take care of yourself when you’re sick
Do face masks and consider botox monthly
Go to work everyday
Renew car registration and move to a new townhouse…in the same month
Clean, laundry, go to the doctor, call your grandparents, socialize
Not laugh when someone says PENIS
Take photos of your food — yes this is a must
Things You Do But Probably Shouldn’t (but who’s to judge)
Watch reality tv over the news — who really wants to watch the news now-a-days though #DEPRESSING
Order Postmates twice a week…or twice in a day when you’re hungover
Use the pretty filter on Snapchat
Drink a whole bottle of wine to yourself
Spend the night with a guy you just met
Get road rage a curse the SHIT out of the person who cut you off
Eat dinner standing up
Eat pizza that was left out all night
Go to sleep and then wake up at 1am and go get a snack
Things You Never Do
Yoga — that shit does not relax me
Travel the world (because of the rent in the above category)
Say no to brunch
Be sober for more than 5 days
Leave Target without spending at least $200
Lie. HAHAH JK
Can’t we go back to high school when you have literally nothing to worry about? PLEASE!?
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